A Local's Guide to Krakow, Poland

My host, who has become a close friend, wishes to remain nameless for what soon will become obvious.

For the past month, he has taken me around Krakow, the city he has lived in his entire life. He’s a walking encyclopedia about Krakow’s history, the people he loves most live here, and he has gained success that most people could only dream of. He’ll even admit the city defines him. Yet, every time I tell him why I love Krakow, he says, “Nolan, there is something seriously wrong with you.”

In other words, the following isn’t your average travel article that sells a city to you. We’re diving into local knowledge and opinions mainstream travel mags would be too afraid to publish.

What makes Krakow stand apart from the rest of Poland?

That’s a hard one because Krakow has changed throughout my life. At first, Krakow was a place where people would stop and talk and be open. It was always very liberal.

But then, people from the Malopolska region came.

In English, you call it lesser Poland because of the geography. In Poland, we call it lesser Poland because of the people. Remember that word you taught me—hillbillies? Well, that’s them. Small-town-minded, catholic, simple—you get the picture.

Luckily, we also have around two hundred thousand students who live here, which balances out the stupidity… to an extent.

What are your 3 favourite things to do in Krakow?

Riding my mountain bikes in the Wolski forest. The Lasek Wolski forest is Kraków’s biggest park and a favourite spot for cyclists. It's on the city's west side, between Wola Justowska and Bielany. That’s where we saw Sowiniec Hill with the Piłsudski Mound, the baroque Camaldolese Monastery on Silver Mountain, the zoo, and three rocky nature reserves: Skałki Bielańskie, Skałki Przegorzalskie, and Panieńskie Skały. In the summer, there’s also a cross-country skiing trail.

When I was younger, I also liked hanging out in the city centre. The college life was incredible here.

I'd come with a third if you asked me during my youth. But now, I really can’t. If it weren’t for my boys, I’d get the hell out of here.

What are your favourite meals or restaurants from Krakow?

Nothing. Really, Nolan. Absolutely nothing.

I used to like Klub Awaria, though. That bar was like a second home.

Also, I can give you a pro tip—ignore restaurant ratings in Poland. Polish people rate a good restaurant based on how many calories you get for the price, not the quality.

What's the greatest challenge of living in Krakow?

Traffic jams. Stupidity. 

How much money does one need to live comfortably?

Most would probably say thirteen thousand to seventeen złoty a month, which is around three thousand to four thousand euros a month for a family.

What are your favourite pieces of history?

The golden age was in the 16th century when there were more Protestants than Catholics in parliament. Because of the Warsaw Confederation of 1573, which allowed freedom of religion for nobles, we had more religious tolerance than other parts of Europe. This diversification within the nobility helped to balance power and prevent any single religious group from dominating the political landscape. As a result, the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth enjoyed political stability—well, relatively— and democratic governance through the Sejm (parliament).

That’s also one reason we flourished in the arts, sciences, and literature at that time. It was a true cultural renaissance. People like Nicolaus Copernicus, Andrzej Frycz Modrzewski, and Mikołaj Rej brought much progress to science and humanities. I mean, I could go on for hours here, but you can look into these guys yourself.

Another piece of history I love—and this is another reason I don’t want my name in this article—is when Boleslav killed Saint Stanislaus, the archbishop of Krakow, in 1079. Stanislaus is one of Poland's most revered saints and a symbol of resistance against tyranny, but to hell with that, the Catholic church is tyranny. Plus, Boleslav had a proper pair of balls on him. When he ordered his soldiers to kill Stanislaus, they refused, and he took matters into his own hands. This got him exiled.

Is there any stereotype or misconception you wish to break about Krakow?

I agree with all the stereotypes. Only idiots fall for populist right-wing propaganda. Luckily, we have a liberal leader again, but Nolan, around forty percent of the population is rural. That rural attitude comes with the people when they move to Krakow. People who swear every second word or people who don’t swear at all because of their religious beliefs. People who are content with nothing other than sitting and drinking a bottle of vodka. And it’s so hard to explain when you don’t speak Polish, but it’s the way they talk, Nolan. It hurts my ears.

The stereotypes are true—too true. You can spot them wherever you travel in Europe. Groups of fat drunks who can’t hold a fork and knife but then have the audacity to complain about the food, and they always complain, Nolan. It’s a national sport to complain about the prices in other countries.

What parts of you feel like a person from Krakow?

When I use the local words. For example, Wyjść na pole. It means “go outside,” and it’s a very Kraków phrase because everywhere else, people say “wyjść na zewnątrz” or “wyjść na dwór.”

What parts of you don't feel like a person from that Krakow?

I feel like I am one hundred percent from here, but I don’t like it. 

The other day, I was thinking about a red dot on Booking.com to warn people how many Polish people there are. For example, a restaurant or hotel should alert you when the percentage of Poles is too high. Five out of thirty would already be too much to enjoy a place.

So, this is the rule I propose Booking.com implement. More than fifteen percent of Polish people should be blocked. Five percent would equal a yellow alert. Sure, five percent would be annoying, but you could still survive.

What would change about Krakow?

A more green direction without cars. The public transit isn’t bad, but we need better bike lanes and connections. The traffic jams here are some of the worst in Europe. But it’s not just because of the infrastructure; it’s because people are so stupid when they drive.

What do you hope will never change?

You’ll be surprised, but I hope we stay Polish… just more civilized. 

Do you feel like part of Europe? 

Of course. This is the heart of Europe… paradoxically.

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